What the hell is going on?  Why are you here?  Isn’t that the question we all ask ourselves?  Well…all your answers lie within this click.  Or at least the answers that are about the Diary of a Madman:  My Quest for Batgirl.  The rest of your answers?  You’re better off looking elsewhere…

the reason for the season

3/4 – Monday.  With another week beginning, that means another trip to Toys R Us (FM) at lunchtime.  Which, you may (more than likely “may not”) find surprising, they had no Unlimited figures. Whatsoever.  No DC Unlimited.  No Batman Unlimited.  None.  Zero.  Zilch.

It’s fine Toys R Us.  I really don’t care, anyway.  It’s not like I wanted to spend the extra  5 bucks over every other store’s retail ($15.99.  Sometimes even on sale for $12.99 at Target.) for the privilege of buying Batgirl at your store.  Beings that you sell the Unlimited figures for $19.99 ($21.99 if you’ve got a “sale” going on).  Nuts to you!

better shot of finding tires for your car here...
better shot of finding tires for your car here…

For a toy store, they really suck.

Disappointment comes so easy.  Might as well pile on some more (while I’m at it) and run over to Walmart (FM), since I’ve got some time to kill.  I mean, it’s only lunch.  And with their track record of restocking the toy aisles so often, I’m bound to have a chance of finding her at Walmart (FM). 1

disappointment comes in all sizes and shapes!
disappointment comes in all sizes and shapes!

Man!  Was I ever wrong2!

For a toy store, they really suck, too.

3/5 – Tuesday.  Tuesday at your friendly neighborhood jman’s house means it’s time to restock up on the necessities and essentials.  Which means it’s time for our 5 minute ride to Target (Nesh).  Which also means heading to the back of the store without collecting $200 or passing go.

I won’t waste your time with the results.  You’re a smart listener.  You can figure it out.

3/7 – Thursday.  Desperate times call for desperate measures.  I actually started looking online.  Specifically, eBay.  I know.  I know.  I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking:  “Wait.  Why haven’t you been doing this all along?  You mean to tell me you haven’t been watching Batgirl on eBay this whole time?!?!?  You’re an idiot!”  Look, if that’s what you’re thinking then nuts to you!  Cause I HAVE been watching batgirl on eBay!

Ok.  Wait.  That’s a bit of a stretcher.  I do have a saved search of all of DC Unlimited figures on eBay.  I just haven’t been checking it.  The point of this exercise in futility was to find her at retail.  Looking for her on eBay (or any other online retailer) isn’t finding her at a brick and mortar.  It’s the thrill of the hunt we’re after here.  And the agony of defeat.

But, I decided not to buy her off of eBay.  In fact, I decided not to look on eBay anymore!  I will persevere!  My will is of steel!  My resolve even stronger!

yes it does!
yes it does!

Wait…does that say 20 bucks?!?!?  WTF is wrong with me?!?!?

3/8 – Friday.  Even more desperate times call for even more desperate measures.  I did what I despise doing the most at Target (OV).  I talked to a person.  Not only did I actually waste valuable time tracking down an employee, I also asked the dreaded question:  “Do you have any more in the back?”

I worked in retail a few years in my early on in my “career” (not at a toy store, mind you) and it would drive me nuts when a customer would ask if we had “more in the back.” So many times I wanted to answer with something snappy like:  “Yea.  We have a ton in the back.  We’re just hording the shit.”

For all the retail workers out there, you may commence with the stoning of me.

not this kind of stoning.
not this kind of stoning.

Oh, yea…BTW…they didn’t have any in the back, anyway.


Stay tuned…for more desperation!


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Images courtesy of:

Stoner yoda:  www.fanpop.com

Morpheus meme:  funny-memes-blog.tumblr.com



  1. That’s sarcasm, folks.  Plain and simple.
  2. More sarcasm.
your delightfully random emissary to most things pop culturish


  1. I have only seen the DC Unlimited figures once at retail, though I do have an extra Batgirl if you really want to end your desperation.

    • now that is cool of you! not to spoil anything, but…i may have gotten a hold of her…


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