the insanity
the insanity

What the hell is going on?  Why are you here?  Isn’t that the question we all ask ourselves?  Well…all your answers lie within this click.  Or at least the answers that are about the Diary of a Madman:  My Quest for Batgirl.  The rest of your answers?  You’re better off looking elsewhere…

thar she blows!
thar she blows!

3/10 – Sunday.  Because I had nothing better to do on a miserable Sunday afternoon (like sleep), I took a ride to Target (OV) under the pretense I had to get something.  Something important.  I can’t remember what.  Probably that food brush I’ve been living without all this time.

who's more of a peg warmer at this point?  Superman or Pengiun?
who’s more of a peg warmer at this point? Superman or Pengiun?

Suresuresure.  I was just there two days prior, but you know the saying: if you miss a day…you miss a lot.  Well…if you miss TWO days, someone probably bought your Batgirl.  So, back to Target OV, I went.

I never said that shit!
I never said that shit!

But, of course, they had more of the same…nothing.  You know what that cat Einstein said the definition of insanity is, right? 1

3/11 – Monday.  Monday nights mean “nights alone” for Kelly Marie and myself.  When you’ve got a combined total of 6 kids (ok, yea…so what if 4 of those combined 6 kids are mine), well there isn’t much “alone time”.  So, on Monday nights, we usually go out to dinner.  And spend the night at my house.  (Nonono.  It’s not what you think.  We just end up sleeping.  For real.  Who’s got time for anything else?)  And this particular Monday being no exception.

ok.  i admit it.  sometimes we play jenga.
ok. i admit it. sometimes we play jenga.

That is, after we stopped at Target (Nesh).  C’mon!  It’s five minutes from my house!  It’s on the way.  What do you want from me?  Yes, Kelly Marie rolled her eyes at me when I told her asked her if we could stop on the way home.  Yes Kelly Marie said there’s something wrong with me for going to all this trouble to find this figure when I could save myself a whole lot of time/money and just buy her off the internets.

where everyone knows your name
where everyone knows your name

Women!  They just don’t get it!

Oh…Target didn’t have the figure, either.

3/13 – Wednesday.  For my son, Jethro’s  12th birthday, I took him to the Lego store at the King of Prussia mall.  If there was ever a time to find this figure…this was that day.  The King of Prussia mall is like 33.77 square miles of pure and complete retailing.  The place has it’s own Lego store for mercy’s sake!   And “they” don’t just dump Lego stores in your average rinky dink mall!

and that's just the "court"!  or is it the "plaza"?
and that’s just the “court”! or is it the “plaza”?

I was going to find this figure or die trying!

The plan was this, hit the Lego store for Jethro.  Then?  All bets were off.  We were hitting every toy store between us and King of Prussia.  Every Target.  Every Walmart.  Every Kmart2.  We’d even hit CVS if we had, too!!!

whole bunch of no Batgirls at the TRU at King of Prussia
whole bunch of no Batgirls at the TRU at King of Prussia

Since the King of Prussia mall is like 3 states away from where we live, in beautiful downtown Ben Salom,  I had to plan our route in advance.  In doing so, your friendly neighborhood jman discovered there was even a comic book store in the King of Prussia mall!!!  If all of those other places didn’t pan out, I was going to get Batgirl there.  Fuck it!  I said I was going to buy her at retail.  I never said at what price.  And if that meant I had to pay the extra 5 – 10 bucks for the honor of buying her at a comic shop?  Then so be it!!!

nice shop, though!
nice shop, though!

Blahblahblah.  None of the stores had Batgirl.  Even the stupid comic book shop.  This is just getting stupid…

here’s a pic of Kate Upton, in case I made you feel all sad and shit for me right now…

 

Images courtesy of:

Einstein:  www.geni.com

Silicone brush:  melissasloveoffood.com

Jenga:  bonnesante.wordpress.com

 

 

  1. doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
  2. I hate Kmart
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  • Maurice Mitchell

    Who knew she would be so hard to find? Especially since Superman is warming the pegs.

    • admin

      right?!?!? funny thing is? now i see her all the time!