What the hell is going on? Why are you here? Isn’t that the question we all ask ourselves? Well…all your answers lie within this click. Or at least the answers that are about the Diary of a Madman: My Quest for Batgirl. The rest of your answers? You’re better off looking elsewhere…
3/17 – 3/23. There comes a point in every adventure when you want to say “the hell with all this shit” and give up. When you just want to throw in the proverbial towel. Two days Five weeks into this stupid idea of mine, and your friendly neighborhood jman was at that point.
I know. I know. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking: “My friendly neighborhood jman…why are you doing this anyway? Is there something wrong with you?” Look, if that’s what you’re thinking, then nuts to you!
Yes. There probably is something wrong with me. I do have four kids, after all. But, the point of this bit was to get Batgirl at retail within a month’s time. Not 5 weeks. Not 6 weeks. Or more! The point was to have a few laughs, write a few articles and move along.
As a wise dude once said: Desperate times call for desperate measures. I began looking on the internet more often. Target/Walmart websites. I started thinking to myself 1 this could be heaven or this could be hell you guys wouldn’t know the difference if I bought Batgirl at one of those websites. Besides, it’s not that much of a lie. If I got her at Target or Walmart’s website, it would still be at retail. I never said I had to find the figure at a brick and mortar (even though that’s what I meant). I just said “retail”.
As fate would have it, she wasn’t in stock, time after time.
Another wise dude once said: “Really desperate times call for really desperate measures”. And just like Luke being tempted by the Emperor to the dark side, I turned to Amazon and eBay.
C’mon! It’s not like you guys would ever know the difference. I’d lie my teeth off. I’d concoct some stupid story, end this bit once and for all and get on with my life. The perfect plan. Yes! I can feel the dark side following through me.
The thing is, Batgirl was running a minimum of 22 bucks on both eBay and Amazon, depending on the day. Actually, it was more like 25 – 30 bucks! And that doesn’t even include shipping! Forget the dark side, I have a much more powerful master. The Toy Valuation Theorem!
There was no way on god’s green planet that I was going to spend upwards of 30 bucks for a figure I could buy at retail for 15.99. No way! I’m a slave to the Toy Valuation Theorem. It is my master. And I am it’s apprentice.
It is too late for me, son.
For you…the finale awaits…
Have you heard the news? I gotta bad case of lovin’ you There’s a new internets show starting soon:
Images courtesy of:
Emperor with lightsabers: www.slipups.com
Grinning emperor: forums.superherohype.com
- Who else would I think to? You? ↩