Look at this.  Tell me this ain’t totally bad ass.  Go ahead.  Click on the pic.  Go see it in all it’s glory.  I’ll be here waiting after the jump…

Did you see the price of that?  $214?  WTF?!?!?  How the hell am I supposed to afford that?  I could totally not let the kids eat for a few weeks.  God damn!  I’d consider it, too.  They eat too much anyway.  What’s a few weeks of air sandwiches?  Ain’t gonna kill them, none.  Seriously…look at that thing!  It is completely  bad ass.  Did you catch the alternate Tony Stark head?  I’m telling you.  This thing would make my life complete.  That is, until I saw this…

Ugh!!!!!  I think I need a tissue now. That thing is beyond cool.  Look, I admit, I have a thing for toys.  Sure, it’s really been years since I’ve bought anything.  But, I’m telling you…that right there?  That gets a blind man talking about seeing again.  Until, you use your new found vision to look upon the price.  Go ahead, hit the pic.  I’m waiting…
FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS?!?!?  Did you see that?  FIVE FUCKING HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS?  Hol-lee shit!!!!  Who the hell can afford that?  I guess the real question here is…how the hell can you not afford it?!?!?
Try explaining that purchase to the wife, though.  Listen, you may be clever enough to convince her that your life will be so much better with an iPad2.  But an Iron Man 2 Suit up gantry?  Yea…good luck with that, my friend.  Good luck.  Believe you me, there ain’t no explaining/justifying that one away.  No amount of back rubs/foot rubs/cleaning the toilets is gonna convince your wife to let you part with a half a grand to get that. And don’t even try to think you’re gonna tell her it only cost 75 bucks.  That thing just screams EXPENSIVE!
You know…maybe instead of wasting my time writing this stupid ode, I should spend my time coming up with a scheme for how the hell I’m gonna score both those pieces.  Cause, just because your life is gonna be incomplete without them, doesn’t mean mine should!